Thursday, March 30, 2006

Spin

I just saw a great movie. Thank You for Smoking. Aaron Eckhart,previously seen in such craptastic movies as Deep Blue Sea and The Core(guilty pleasures for me), is the chief lobbyist for Big Tobacco, and he can sell anything. Wackiness ensues, I highly recommend.

Also, just in case some of you did not get the memo...

Fun Fur hats (you know the ones that look like a dead muppet wrapped around your head) are out. I know there was a little SNAFU back there with communication, but you have now been informed.

So now that that's out of the way, my older sister is pregnant. She's old enough and it the right time and all that so that's not what I'm worried about. But yet I worry. I worry a lot. Ok this will sound weird, but it starts with dreams I've had. Anytime I'm having a dream where I'm pregnant, the baby isnt mine. I know that sounds like the Blonde joke, (Blonde goes to the doctor she says "You're pregnant", Blonde says "Are you sure it's mine?") but that's how it is. So I thought about it and If it isnt mine I'm likely surrogating, and the only person I would surrogate for is Sara. So when she told me she was pregnant part of me was worried that my dream would come true. I don't wish any harm on Figgy (see her blog) its a totally retarded worry. But then I have the real worries which I think are being covered up by the silly one. I don't like children. I never have. They drove me nuts when I was a child , all the whining and tantrums.. I worry that I wont be a good aunt cuz they'll annoy me. I was at Kaiser yesterday to get my depo shot, and I swear every time I go, there is someone there with a reason for me to continue getting it forever. This time it was a pair of hellions that ran and ran and screamed and threw paper at people and jumped on the chairs and tables and supposedly this was cute. I don't get it. Then when they left these 2 ladies were talking about their family, and this woman's brother doesn't visit her son enough. He's single and lives on his own and I guess because he must have so much time on his hands and can sleep in on weekends he should come over and see this very small child. They didn't understand this. Am I going to be this person my sister complains about because I'm not ooey gooey over her child? I have no doubt that I will love Figgy, but I don't know that Ill be able to handle a relationship with a child. I babysat once in my life, it wasn't fun. I know that most of the problems I have with other peoples children wont happen with Sara & Richard's baby. They aren't stupid, they don't like screaming babies in rated R movies @10pm any more than I do. I don't know. This bothers me. I want to be the cool aunt that they go to when "mom or dad is being mean to me" and make it all better with ice cream, pizza and movies they aren't supposed to watch, but I just don't know if I can do it.

2 comments:

Sara said...

I don't even know if I can do it, and I'm the pregnant one. Most children drive me nuts, too. But what's the lie that all parents (and families) tell themselves? Ours will be different.

And I promise not to judge you if you don't fall all over Figgy with love and affection. It was Rich and my decision to have a baby, not yours, so why should I expect your life to revovle around my decision?

And besides, the problem with dealing with other people's children is that you can't discipline them when they are being brats. Well, with my kid, you can. And that's got to make it better, somewhat.

Mel said...

Speaking as an aunt myself it really is different when they're related to you. I felt the same way you did about kids for a very long time (I'm sure given my current feelings on kids you might find it hard to believe, but there for a while I didn't want any ever).

Even during that period I always loved my niece and nephew. And not in that they're my family so I love them sort of way. But actually in that I really love to spend time with the little buggers sort of way.

Sara is right, when you can actually tell them no, it's time to stop screaming and behave, it makes all the difference. My nephew was a total hellion, yet for me he was always an angel because he knew I wouldn't let him get away with that crap. It just takes consistency in your behavior.

Trust me, you'll love Figgy and you'll actually want to spend time with her (or him) too.

Besides, if you don't, Figgy can always come see me! :)